LOOKING FOR MR. MOMS: A REAL CASTING NOTICE I’M GOING TO MAKE FUN OF:
Do you go to a fathers’ support group?
Do you have a dad blog talking about being a dad for the first/second time?
Have you caught your child’s high chair on fire?
Have you walked in and watched your toddler creating art with their own poop?
Have you left your playground without your child?
Does your stomach ache at the sight of a sonogram?
We are looking for dynamic “Mr. Moms.” If you are single and you are the daycare or if you are a couple and “dad” is the daycare, we are searching for you. You must have at least one newborn OR a toddler and infant. Would be excellent if we found a group of friends, interconnected, going through the development of at-home fatherhood together. Send us your stories of visiting the parks, setting play dates, organizing birthday parties, and handling any of the other challenges and mishaps of being MR MOM.
Have you caught your toddler’s high chair on fire? Were you trying to light something on fire in your child’s high chair? Maybe Crystal Meth?
Have you left your playground without your child? Because you are like an incredible dummy? Dads are stupid!
Does your stomach ache at the sight of a sonogram? Are you currently living in a sitcom? Like, do you live in an episode of the Honeymooners? When you are upset, do you jam a hat in your mouth and go “Ayyy-uhggg-ugg-ugg!”
Are you the daycare? That seems impossible, but we put some crazy shit on TV. You know what a daycare is right? Who’s the daycare? Mom? Moms are parents, so that ain’t it. If it ain’t Mom then you must have daycare. So is it daycare daycare? Or is it dad daycare?
It would be excellent if we could find a group of total imbeciles who hate babies, throw up at the sight of a poopy diaper, eat their own hats at the sight of a sonogram, love sports, carry cavemen clubs, have been forced to have children against their will and somehow haven’t been arrested yet or killed their children.