Man Versus Child is a funny dad blog (the term "daddy blog" makes me want to scratch my eyes out).
I'm Doug Moe, a comedian from the UCB Theatre NY. I became a dad and realized that being a parent is the most ridiculous thing to ever happen to me. Man Versus Child is funny, not precious.
And it is not a “daddy blog.”
Is My Child Too Annoying For This Restaurant? 10 Ways to Tell
One of the most hackneyed complaints among the Un-Childed is how their freewheeling evening has been ruined by the brats at the other table.
But on the flip side, there’s a sub-set of parents who inflict their kids on other people as if everyone else in the restaurant is part of their babysitting co-op. Nobody actually believes that “it takes a village” crap, right?
Here’s a handy test to tell if your kid is actually too annoying for a restaurant:
If you did not have a special fondness for the child in question, would you find its behavior abhorrent?
If a grown man was doing what your child is doing, would that be okay?
Is the volume on your child’s iPhone game/video turned to “on?”
Could your child be described as having done “laps?”
Have you noticed that your child is dining with you? If not, you are not paying enough attention to them and they are likely ruining everything for everyone.
Is the average star count in the restaurant’s review larger than the age of the child?
Do you keep trying to get some other table involved in what your kid is doing like everyone in the restaurant is all part of some big baby party? ”Eric’s saying hi to you! He’s three!”